| = tough job | ion amariutei [19.Dec.03 22:23] |
| it's tough translating Nichita Stanescu and i think you did a pretty good job. i don't have much experience with translations myself, but i've noticed a few things: sometimes, staying too close to the original text can produce segments that sound *unnatural* in the other language. many poets have their poems read aloud, by themselves or by actors. when translating, might be useful to do the same in the new language. i would suggest a few changes, not because your version is *incorrect* but just because it might *sound* better: *writing is a way to slow down thinking, to draw roughly the face of faceless beings* thingers and things = *fingers and things* *They've cast your face in bronze and then in iron* *they've cast your face in stone* *they've cast your face in words mold you like a heart* *Writing is just like a snare catching a fox alive, still moving and struggling and weak with the fear of death* *at the beginning of the forest I've set my traps made of A and A* *Now I stand not too far waiting to catch my food* | |
| = Really tough job | kurt cnejevici [19.Dec.03 23:19] |
| Following in Ion’s steps, I agree with what he said. In addition, you really have to pay more attention to the spelling. Just a few: primitively not “primitiveley”, thinkers not “thingers”, goddess not “godess”, Primitive not “pimitive”, stopping not “stoping”, resembles not resemblences, beginning of the forest not “begining of teh” , I wait to catch my food instead of “cathing” | |
| = thanks | Miriam Cihodariu [22.Dec.03 00:15] |
| Thank you for stopping by and for the suggestions, Ive already followed some of them. I don't know waht came into me, I stranslated the text "live" in a couple of minutes and sent it directly. But I feel good about it, I think I've doe a preety good job, just like Ion said. That's what counts, isn't it? | |