= Very visual poetry with a temperament... | John Willy Kopperud [19.May.08 21:28] |
...and I really did enjoy it. One small mishap, though: In the last line of the second stanza the word "be" has sneaked in. Drop it, please. Cheers from Willy | |
= Thnx a bunch, John | Luminita Suse [19.May.08 21:40] |
Right, thank you, I removed that word. | |
= elegant poem... | Marius Surleac [19.May.08 22:16] |
I keep what Willy said above that the text is very visual; imagery is let to be free and flees with the words. Very expressive the first two stanzas: calligraphy of their flight in the shape of an ideogram gives to the poem an Asiatic fragrance if I can say so. Again, the stanza "autumn coagulates the hemorrhage of leaves” makes me think to the artists, painting on their canvas on the easel - not with paint but with words. What I see wrong is the use of the verb “calligraph” – my suggestion would be “another V of birds in a calligraphically flight”. Beautiful work though and excellent images inflicted. Best regards, Marius | |
= Thnx Marius | Luminita Suse [20.May.08 02:32] |
The text stays the way it is; it was selected as such in a contest for the above mentioned anthology. | |
= Thank you | Marina Nicolaev [22.May.08 05:56] |
thank you for all. | |
= excellent imagery | Horia Mocanu [12.Apr.09 18:07] |
honey lurks from summer’s lingerie - excellent image and a well thought poem too, i loved it. congratulations | |